How to Pray When You Don’t Know What to Say

A guide to deepening prayer life, especially during times of struggle or uncertainty.

If you struggle to find the words when praying, it’s okay. Even Jesus’ disciples had the same problem. In Luke 11:1, they asked Jesus to teach them how to pray. Jesus didn’t scold them… He showed them and taught them. In fact, we have a lot of scripture that gives us instructions on how to pray. And prayer doesn’t have to be long or complicated. In fact, Jesus encouraged prayers to be short and simple (see Matthew 6:7).

Below are some simple steps to help you connect with God through prayer, all found in scripture. But before talking about how YOU should pray, we should focus on where God is even before we start praying…

1. God WANTS us to come to Him and ask Him for help. “Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.” Jeremiah 33:3

2. God KNOWS what we really need before we even ask Him. “Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.” Matthew 6:8

3. God HELPS you when you don’t know what words to use. “In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.” Romans 8:26

So see? Even before you start, God is already working on your behalf. And if you just come to Him honestly and openly, He fills in the gaps. He truly is a great and loving God! And always remember, He is FOR you and not against you! (Romans 8:31)

Okay, now that you know this about God, here’s some things YOU can do to help you pray.

1. TURN – Notice this first word isn’t about our words. Hopefully over time you will learn the actual words you use aren’t the most important parts of prayer. First and foremost, you need to turn to God. Which means you turn away from the world. We turn off all our devices and noises, find a place where we won’t be distracted (Matthew 6:6), and we give our total focus to God. 

2. CONFESS – I know this is a hard one, but remember, God already knows and sees everything we do (Hebrews 4:13) anyway. Confessing before Him helps establish honesty and intimacy. In fact, to me, this is part of turning towards God. 2 Chronicles 7:14 says “if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.” Turning to God in prayer means turning away from self and the things of this world. 

3. ASK – We mentioned this earlier, how God already knows what we are going to ask anyway. So why not ask Him? Need help making a decision? Ask Him! Need courage to do something difficult? Ask Him! Fighting depression and negative thoughts? Ask Him! See Matthew 7:7-8

4. QUOTE – I know this one sounds strange, but here’s what I mean… When you pray, claim the very words of God and speak those words to Him, counting on God to fulfill them. For example, do you get overwhelmed, thinking God has given you too much to handle? We all do sometimes. But God has told us in I Corinthians 10:13 – “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.”

So when you are struggling, pray something like this… “God, I thank you for all you have done for me. But God you know my heart and that I am hurting. And I am afraid and I don’t know what to do. I feel this is more than I can bear. But Lord, you promised us in your word that you would not let us be tempted beyond what we can bear… so I am claiming your word and your promise that you will provide a way out, just like you said you would. So Lord please provide this way, show me the next step, and give me the strength to take that step.”

Like all new things, the more you do it, the more comfortable you will become with it. So take just a few minutes a day to turn off the noise of the world, turn to God, your loving Heavenly Father who wants you to come to Him, be honest and open, ask for what you need, trust in His words and He will honor them.