Dealing with Doubt: Is It Okay to Question Your Faith?

“Unless I see the nail marks in His hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into His side, I will not believe.” John 20:25

Even people who don’t follow Jesus know about “Doubting Thomas”. It seems several of the disciples saw Jesus before Thomas did. And they told Thomas, but that wasn’t good enough. And Thomas was pretty direct about what it would take for Him to believe. And Thomas was pretty direct in saying that if he didn’t get to touch Jesus, then he would not believe.

Personally, I’ve always felt Thomas got a raw deal. Because all the disciples were doubters. Check out John 20:20, they all wanted to see the nail marks in Jesus’ body, not just Thomas. And to tell the truth, I’ve always felt “doubting”, in and of itself, is normal. Even the scriptures tell us not to believe everything right away, but to test things first (see I John 4:1).

Here’s what I think is the problem with Thomas… it wasn’t that he had doubts… the problem was that his doubts had him. Thomas had made up his mind that he would not believe until his particular conditions were met. Now, he probably didn’t mean to, but in doing so, Thomas was telling God “If you don’t do ABC, then I won’t believe.” In fact, let’s make it simpler… Thomas was TELLING God…anything. Bad idea. But not because God will zap you for being stubborn… it just limits where you can see and experience God.

Where I see this most often is when someone loses a loved one. Someone dies tragically or far too soon. And we think this can’t be right, that God can’t be in this. I say “we” because I remember when my father died when I was 12, I was very angry with God. And like Thomas, I “told” God He owed me a proof, an explanation. My own personal verse might have read like this: “Unless God parts the heavens and speaks directly to me and explains why my father had to die, I will not believe.” I never got my explanation. God never laid it all out for me. But do you know what He did do? He listened to me… not my prayer really, but me… He didn’t chastise me for questioning Him. I turned from Him, but He didn’t turn from me. He let me vent, He let me go my own way, and when I turned back to Him, He was waiting for me, not with explanations, but with acceptance. He accepted me as a child with limited vision and I accepted Him as the Almighty Father whose ways are higher than my ways and whose love is greater than my understanding.

I still have doubts… lots of them. But my doubts don’t have me. I’ve decided for my love and trust and belief in God to be more important than my doubts.

“Then Jesus told him, “Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.” John 20:29